RELIGIOSITY AND RELATIONSHIPS🌝

RELIGIOSITY AND RELATIONSHIPS… 

You’re wondering the correlation right? Trust me I thought love conquers all, but my present relationship nullified that conclusion of mine. I’ve been into several relationships but it never occurred to me that personal values could overrule love. Don’t get it wrong, both are types of conviction; you upholding a specific value(s) is something deep and connected to your every sense organ. You loving someone deeply and unconditionally is also a deep connect. However, conviction is guided by values; things you like, things that appeal to you, your conception and validation of every single phenomenon. This conviction weighs differently. You might be thinking how this correlates with relationship right? Stay calm and flow with the thought.

i met this charming, amazing guy about late last year. I will spare you our romantic details since that’s not the purpose of this article. We’ve grown to love each other like we both claimed. He’s romantic, ambitious and witty; just with the right proportion that I need in a man. In fact, I see the man I want to marry right at my disposal. He respects me, care for me and never cheats (at least not that I know of). But there is one thing that frightens me about our relationship, he’s a ‘Jesus Junkie’ and I’m a Deist. And before you start saying I don’t believe in God, you might need to properly check what that means.

Basically, I believe in God as the supreme creator of all that liveth. However, I don’t have a particular doctrine I hold on to. Trust me, I have attended churches and mosques just to have a feel of what is intoxicating those that hold on tightly to one belief-system and I still haven’t found the spark.

At this juncture, it is important I clarify how I perceive religion and God. I’m a God fan, but lack any willingness to subscribe to a particular religion. I don’t buy everything in the bible or Quran just because I’m told it’s a holy book. I believe Jesus and Prophet Muhammed (S.A.W) were great prophets of God. If I have a Buddhist friend, I can follow him or her to the temple to see how they worship. I’m that curious trust me. I love Igunuko and Eyo festivals a lot (call it fetish, I don’t care). To sum it all, I’m a woman of diversity. I pick the rationality of every concept, not its entirety.

Now my values and perception of God is causing a huge problem in my relationship. Jesus is a deal-breaker for my boyfriend. He echoes how he can’t marry a woman that hasn’t been saved. (Like he has a list of those saved already). But still he claimed to love me passionately and always tell me how much he’s praying to God to reveal Himself to me. And by saying that, he meant me being convinced that Jesus is the only way and only the light.

So I ask myself, ‘Is it only Christians or Muslims that will make heaven? or ‘Did God intentionally create people like me to harbor this kind of perception only to be damned in Hell? Do I have to be a Christian before I can pray in Jesus name or Do I have to be a Muslim before I can imbibe some of the teachings of the Quran and Hadiths?  These are questions I can’t seem to find answers for.

So i told my boyfriend that this is who I am and I don’t have to pretend to be filled with the Holy Spirit if I’m not. I don’t have to pretend I’m a Jesus Junkie if I’m not. So this is my advice for everyone in my situation, never compromise your values. Don’t try to force it if you don’t understand what it is. If God wants you to understand him in a certain way, he will surely make you see that way. You need to differentiate spiritual conviction from psychological conviction. Both is not something you have control of easily. But psychological conviction deals with being alligned and fixated to a particular thing; it deals with specifics.

Dont be scared to love; respect your partner;  be ready to compromise little things that doesn’t affect your being and remember, there is always someone out there that loves your profile without filter.

 

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